I Dont Know What Im Doing…

But this failure can be fun.

Why do we fail??

Why do we stop? Why is it so hard to be consistent?

Is it a problem of focus?

Of passion?

Of self worth, self value, self esteem? Confidence?

Am I failure?

Am I child?

Am I so smart Im dumb?

Am I undisciplined?

The thing about failure is that we only fail if we think we failed. We only failed if we stopped trying again and getting back up and learning from our mistakes.

Im not sure if Im learning from my mistakes… But I do know that building my own structure, being my own accountability partner, and motivating myself is extremely hard. Most dont do it alone… but until I can find someone(s) willing to partner up, start a mastermind, and push each other…. alone it will have to be.

Im not sure what else to add to this… what else to say… All I know is that I dont want to stop.

Cant Stop Wont Stop…

Don’t stop (don’t stop) don’t stop the beat
I can’t stop (can’t stop) can’t stop the beat
I won’t stop (won’t stop) won’t stop the beat
And GO

Livin’ life in the fast lane
Movin’ at the speed of life and I can’t slow down
Only got a gallon in the gas tank
But I’m almost at the finish line, so I can’t stop now
I don’t really know where I’m headed
Just enjoying the ride
Just gon’ roll ’til I drop and ride ’til I die
I’m livin’ life in the fast lane (Pedal to the metal)

But…

This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill
Fifteen percent concentrated power of will
Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain

Pain

This is a state of emergency
I’ve been running from a tragedy
There’s a battle raging in my head
I don’t wanna be left for dead

Mayday! Mayday!
The ship is slowly sinking
They think I’m crazy but they don’t know the feeling
They’re all around me
Circling like vultures
They wanna break me and wash away my colors
…
Save me if I become,

All my life I loved with people, so passive back then
I thought I’d be above this evil, my tolerance level
Then was up with doves and eagles
Currently I’ve hit ground zero under bugs and beetles
I’m tilted, inside my head’s a lettuce but wilted
Serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine I spilt it
Could it be how many times I’ve been ran over and jilted?

I need someone to Lean On…

Is anybody out there? It feels like I’m talkin’ to myself
No one seems to know my struggle
And everything I’ve come from
Can anybody hear me? Yeah, I guess I keep talking to myself
It feels like I’m going insane, am I the one who’s crazy?
(So why in the world do I feel so alone?
Nobody but me, I’m on my own
Is there anyone out there who feels the way I feel?
If there is, let me hear
Just so I know that I’m not the only one)

Have you felt a little off today
Had a lot to say
But wound up talking to yourself?
I’ve been hunting for a kindly ear
But couldn’t find one near
And wound up talking to myself
Had a little spot — where you been going through a lot
Wanna shove it to the bottom — but a trouble gonna bubble to the top
Then the bubble gonna pop — and the hustle never ever gonna stop
Cause you get up in the morning get ahead, get to bed and then you do it all again until the moment that you drop
You need a plot — what you wanna witness with this life you got
You kicked and fought trynna get up in your skin and pick this lock
That ticking clock lets you know that bitch you got these situations witchu
Issues someone fit to quick should sit you should down to talk
Ever wonder who’s the crazy the one — people walking to work as if nothing is off
But if a person really got it they would be cracking a bottle on somebody’s head and looting from shops
Are there times you’re alone now when nobody’s home but you walk around muttering under your breath second guessing shit saying goddammit goddammit goddammit just whispering soft
Do you ever get lost, deep in your thoughts, tripping when you think about the cost of seeing this through?
When you tie your stomach into knots that you don’t know how to undo
But do you ever have another moment after that, when you can see
There’s no one way this has to be? or maybe that’s just me

Nevertheless, I feel the Antidope…

K.A.A.N. - Antidope

I cant wait…

I know I am Blessed…

Yes, my nigga, you’re blessed, take advantage, do your best, my nigga
Don’t stress, you was granted everything inside this planet
Anything you imagine, you possess, my nigga
You reject these niggas that neglect your respect
For the progress of a baby step, my nigga
…
In a minute everybody gon’ be winning
Put a little faith in it then recognize that we all

Till then. I’ll just be Stuntin…