This is what I tell myself.

When I’m talking in my head wondering wtf I’m doing…

I look at Yann’s daily posts and wonder why I can’t do that… why I seem to fail over and over and over again, even on the first few days… why I fail to commit, even after I’ve proven to myself that I can and am not afraid to… why I fail to follow up, to ‘close the sale’, to make an impact… like I really want to.

I wonder if I’m destined for failure… for mediocrity.

I wonder why I can’t seem to do right by anyone… to maintain or even attain any sense of value.

I wonder if I have a fear of success… or a fear of failure so potent as to keep me from success.

I wonder if I just get in my own way… if I procrastinate out of some fatal flaw in my character.

If my dreams will be forever that

My goals forever far

Forever unattainable

Unrealistic.

Will it all be for naught?

Will I forever be forced to just survive?

Never alive

Is this my life?

Must I settle?

Of course not.

This is just the struggle

The adversity I must persist through in order to show my drive

My worth

It’s just my story in the making

At least thats what I tell myself…